Bridal showers are a fun way to celebrate an upcoming wedding. Planning a bridal shower is no small feat. From choosing the perfect venue to deciding on the menu, there are a lot of details that need to come together for a successful event. That’s why it helps to have a guide through the process. So if you’re looking for help planning a bridal shower, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s get started!
Who Plans the Bridal Shower?
Typically, it's up to the maid of honor (or bridesmaids) and close friends of the bride-to-be to plan her bridal shower. Of course, anyone can plan/host, just make sure that whoever makes the plans is comfortable with all of the responsibilities associated with hosting, such as budgeting and selecting vendors, and that they are willing to take the bride's tastes into consideration. A bridal shower, after all, is a celebration of the bride and should therefore represent her personality on some level.
Bridal Shower vs Couple's Shower
A bridal shower is a traditional pre-wedding event where guests give gifts to the bride-to-be in celebration of her upcoming nuptials. On the other hand, a couple’s shower celebrates both partners equally and can be more inclusive when it comes to gift giving (i.e., gifts don't necessarily have to be for just the bride). The main difference between these two types of showers lies in who receives gifts from guests; at a bridal shower, only the bride receives gifts while at a couple’s shower both partners receive them. Both types of showers are fun and festive occasions that should be planned with care so that everyone attending has an enjoyable experience.
Guests
Typically, the bridal shower is thrown by the maid of honor or close family members, with assistance from the bride’s other friends and family members. Invitees should be mostly female relatives and friends of the bride and groom as well as a few close male friends/relatives. Couple's showers are also becoming popular these days. These events include both male and female guests who intend to celebrate the couple rather than just the bride-to-be.
Unless the wedding is going to be a small, intimate event, then the bridal shower guest list should be smaller than the wedding guest list. As a general rule, bridal showers do not usually include aquaintances on the guest list. For example, the groom is very close to John Smith and John Smith has a girlfriend that the bride and groom know to see but the bride would not invite the girlfriend to lunch alone. John and his girlfriend will probably both be invited to the wedding, but it would be awkward for the girlfriend to be invited to the shower if she doesn't really know anyone else there, including the bride. There are obviously exceptions to this rule, especially if it is a couple's shower or if the guest in question is a close relative. Most importantly, you should never invite someone to the shower that will not be invited to the wedding.
Who Pays?
Traditionally, bridal showers are hosted and paid for by the bridal party but it can also be split among multiple people if needed. Sometimes the mother of the bride pays for it or in some circumstances, the bride herself will cover the major costs while the bridal party pays for any prizes for the games. It’s important to consider your budget, and what those contributing can afford, when planning a shower so that no one is put in an uncomfortable financial position. It may be an important day for the bride, but those standing up for her in the wedding still have their own bills to pay and not everyone has the same amount of disposable income. You need to be respectful of that when making plans that are being paid for by others. Most people will pay for food but not alcohol; alcohol is often BYOB or provided by the venue at a cash bar, if necessary.
When Should A Bridal Shower Be Held?
The date of the bridal shower should usually fall 4-6 weeks before the wedding date (unless otherwise specified by the bride). This gives everyone plenty of time to between the two events to prevent guests invited to both from being overwhelmed. As far as sending out invitations goes—it's best practice to send them out 3-4 weeks before the event so that everyone has plenty of notice and can make arrangements accordingly, but, not so much time that they forget about it.
Choosing a Venue
Now that you have a budget, an approximate date and a guest count, it comes time to choose a venue for the bridal shower. There are several factors that should be taken into consideration, besides those already listed. First, consider what type of atmosphere you want—do you prefer an indoor setting or an outdoor one? Do you want something private and small or do you need more space? A bridal shower can be held anywhere as long as it meets your needs, such as someone's basement or backyard, a church hall, the party room of a favorite restaurant or even an event venue. Depending on what type of venue you choose, don’t forget about parking; make sure there is plenty of room for everyone who will be coming! If anyone on the guest list is need of handicap access, this should also be taken into consideration before booking. Once these details are taken care of, finding the perfect place should be easy enough!
Choosing A Theme
Choose your theme carefully as this will determine many aspects of your event such as decorations, food, invitations and activities. Your theme sets expectations for what kind of party it will be and gives guests some clues about what they should expect when they attend your event—so choose wisely! Some sample themes could include rustic chic or tropical paradise—just keep in mind that whatever theme you choose should reflect who the bride is and her personality/style preferences. Be sure to also consider any special requests or allergies she may have before finalizing your plans.
Decorations
Decorations for a bridal shower can include a lot or a little. Usually, this will depend on the venue and what is allowed, as well as the chosen theme. I wouldn't stress over the decor too much, that isn't what people remember the most. Just see what you think will look good and reflect your theme and go for it.
I will admit, I tend to go overboard with my decor at events. For me, it is fun and I love how it looks when people walk in. However, let's be honest, once everyone arrives, nothing ever looks as nice as before they arrive and I've enjoyed events with no decorations just as much as events with elaborate decorations. Focus on the important items first and the decorations will fall into place.
Caterer vs. Home Cooking
To a certain extent, this decision will be determine by the venue you choose since some require that you use their catering. However, if the venue has no preference, then you have two options here: hire a caterer or do it yourself! Hiring a caterer means less stress and work for you but does come with some drawbacks such as being more expensive or giving you less control. On the other hand, if you decide to prepare the food yourself, you save money but may find yourself overwhelmed by all of the work involved in prepping, cooking and cleaning up. This option may not allow you to fully enjoy the event that you worked so hard to plan and organize.
It’s important to weigh both of these options carefully before making a decision as it will affect your budget and timeline. Should you decide to prepare the food yourself, I suggest that you make sure you have people willing to help you cook, set-up, serve, and clean up. I have hosted showers where I cooked and where I used a caterer and I enjoyed the day more when I hired a caterer, but the budget doesn't always allow that. Given the choice, however, I'd cut something else out just so I didn't have to deal with all that stress and work that comes with cooking for something like that.
Games or No Games?
Another important factor in planning your bridal shower is deciding whether or not to play games. Games are always fun at parties, but they’re not necessary if you don’t want them. If you do choose to include games at your event, make sure they are relevant and meaningful for the guests attending—few people want to sit through hours of Monica vs Rachel trivia, read the room! Instead of playing traditional bridal shower games, why not opt for something unique like “Name That Tune” or “Guess Who Said It?” Your guests will be sure to enjoy themselves no matter what kind of game you choose!
We all know that if games are played at a shower, then prizes are usually expected. A nice way to have the bridal party included in costs of the shower without burdening them too much is to have each one make up a basket that can be used for prizes. Then they are basically setting their own budget for what they want to spend without it being obvious what they spent.
Basket prizes for games can be handled two ways: either a winning guest goes up and chooses a basket or, winning guests can receive tickets that can then be put into bags for chances to win various baskets, like a raffle drawing. This allows you to have more game winners, even if you do not have a lot of prizes. You can also give each guest tickets for attending and for bringing something they were asked to bring, like a favorite recipe.
Planning an Itinerary
Once you have chosen your theme, menu and whether to play games, it's time to start putting together an itinerary for your party. This should include things like what time you need to start setting up, shower start time and end time, food options (including snacks/desserts and what time to server them), drinks (alcoholic/non-alcoholic), music selection(s) or games/activities (if desired) and clean up time.
If there are any special requests from either yourself or your guest list that need accommodation then make sure those are included in your plans as well! Finally, don't forget about thank you cards! Make sure you plan ahead so you can send out personalized thank you notes after everyone has left!
Planning a bridal shower is no small task but with careful thought and consideration put into each step along the way it doesn't need to be overwhelming either! Remember that choosing a theme sets expectations for what kind of event it will be so pick something thoughtful yet unique which reflects both who your guest list consists of and who the bride is as well!
Bridal Showers Around The World
The traditions of bridal showers may vary from country to country, but they all revolve around similar themes of celebrating love and marriage. In Russia, Poland, Ukraine, France, Italy, Germany and other parts of Europe (except Switzerland), they have something called a “hen party” or “bachelorette party” which is quite similar to a bridal shower here in America. In India they have a sangeet ceremony that takes place days before the actual wedding where ladies perform traditional dances while singing songs about marriage and love—it's basically their version of our bridal shower!
There’s always something special about being able to celebrate an upcoming wedding with close friends and family members at a bridal shower! Have fun planning your next bridal shower!